Social Media Distancing
I want to preface this post by saying: This was written before the Covid-19 pandemic and all of its effects on our lives. All of the doom and gloom saturating every available media platform can cause so much anxiety that it’s more important than ever to take intentional breaks from the information overload. It can be hard but I hope the following article helps.
Maybe you noticed, maybe you didn’t (it’s fine), that my Instagram activity has been all or nothing and a little sporadic lately. I used to love it and enjoy sharing but I’m just sorta burnt out with it.
Even with all the positives, social media can be (for me personally: inspiration, knowledge, accountability, even social connection) it started to bother me that it was sucking so much time out of my days and really, MY LIFE.
Think back to the time before everyone was glued to their smartphones... You DID things, right? Just for the sake of doing them.
I know I did. Paintings and projects always, with no online platform to promote my work. Taking a walk with my dogs (different dogs than we have now which makes it seem like forever ago.) Yoga because yoga. Not just to take a cool pic for the gram. The same with cooking a vibrant meal or watching a beautiful sunset for just that...
Countless other activities brought joy and richness to my life without the subconscious thought “Does it even count if I don’t post it?” Gross. It makes me embarrassed just to admit that.
These days even spending time with my husband or people that I sincerely enjoy is often interrupted with a quick notification check. And I started to wonder, how can we truly engage and be present when the dang phone is so unrelenting?? “With the phone, and the buttons, and the agony.” I know y’all seen Hotel Transylvania 2!
I struggled with this so much when I took my first social media break over a year ago. Desperately wanting to disengage but ultimately being sucked back in. IT’S AN ADDICTION. Full stop.
Here’s the thing though: It’s not our fault. It’s MEANT to be habit-forming and ultimately addictive. But there are definitely a few simple things we can do to disrupt the habit loop.
Without further ado and in no particular order, this is what I did (and am still doing and working on) to set healthy boundaries with my phone/social media.
Smartphone boundaries
The phone is the gateway drug, people. If you can create yourself some healthy boundaries with your phone you’ll be off to a great start!
Enter the Do Not Disturb feature. I have mine set to turn on DND from around the time Ryan gets home from work in the evening until late the next morning allowing me time to get my day started in a productive way without any distractions.
I’ll also manually turn on DND throughout the day when I need to focus on an important project or task.
And don’t worry, back to back calls from the same number will come through in case of an emergency. And you can still see your notifications on the lock screen.
You can also set time limits for your apps in Settings under Screen Time. I did this when I first starting backing off Instagram but eventually turned them off as I would just override it. It didn’t really work for me but that doesn’t mean it won’t work for you. All you can do is test it out, right?
Log Out
I’m talking about every. single. time you close an app log out of your account. This was key for me.
First of all, this will make you painfully aware of how often you open Facebook or Instagram or Pinterest or whatever your distraction of choice may be. It will be REAL eye opening to just how habitual it is. I would be willing to bet you don’t even realize how often you’re opening your favorite app. Prepare yourself for a reality check.
Logging out also means that you’ll have the extra step of having to log back in giving you just enough time to come back into consciousness to actually INTENTIONALLY DECIDE if you really want to scroll or if opening the app was just a knee jerk reaction to a moment of stillness. Even small obstacles or friction can help break a bad habit.
Turn Off All Notifications
Yep. I have all notifications turned off except for calls and text messaging. Even email. Actually, maybe most importantly email. If I see that little red dot it’s all over with. Checking an incoming email almost always leads to checking instagram. “Just real quick.” Annnnnd 20 minutes later I’m still scrolling. Sucked in once again, dang it!
Turning off notifications and those evil red dots means I don’t feel that obsessive need to clear it, inevitably leading to the time (life) sucking scroll.
Move the App
You know how you know exactly where your favorite apps are without even looking? Move it to a different spot on your home screen or even to a separate screen. This is another way to cause just enough friction to snap you back into the present and realize that you were about to start unconsciously scrolling. It’s another tiny obstacle that will make you aware of your social media habits in a big way.
Get the Phone Out of the Bedroom
Dr. Ellen Vora and Melissa Urban, two of my favorite self-improvement gurus, swear it’s life-changing.
I’m not there yet. I justify this because I read voraciously every night until I can’t keep my eyes open... On my phone. I know. Smh.
The Kindle app on my phone has made my reading in bed habit more constant than ever before (no partner disturbing light needed and it’s so comfy in literally any position) and it’s not a habit I really want to tinker with in fear of screwing it up. So. This is where I am. For now.
You can listen to Ellen and Melissa’s ‘phone in the bedroom’ conversation on Melissa’s Do The Thing podcast episode #13 here:
Find a Hobby
We touched on this earlier. Find something to DO. It doesn’t matter if it’s something you need to do or want to do- just dive in.
Reconnect with the activities you used to love.
Do the thing you’re avoiding in the first place with mindless scrolling.
In the last year, I have reNEWELLed (painted/refinished) almost every single piece of furniture in my house. If you know me IRL you know THAT’S A LOT OF FURNITURE.
That’s what I DID before Instagram and that’s what I’ve BEEN DOING. And let me tell you: It’s absolutely amazing what all you can accomplish when you decide to unplug.
Go Cold Turkey
If these micro shifts are just not working for you and you’re still finding yourself zoning out on your phone, start deleting. Yep, rip the bandaid off, and completely delete any and all troublesome apps off of your phone. You can always re-download them and I promise it’s not near as painful as you’ve built it up to be. Trust.
An interesting side note: Some of the responses I’ve gotten from this self-experiment have been...interesting.
I had no idea that unplugging from social media would be perceived as “something’s wrong”.
And while 99.9 percent of the messages I received were of genuine care and concern (which warms my heart and makes me all fuzzy inside) they definitely had the subtext that something was wrong because I wasn’t posting.
HUH?
It made me feel like I needed to post to prove that everything was fine. For people that I don’t know. On the internet.
WHAT??
But only for like a second. I’m not into image crafting.
It’s just crazy to me that people assumed something was wrong because I wasn’t posting everything I did for allll the people to see.
You may experience this too when you decide to take a break. But know that judgment is a mirror, not a window. 100%.
How about let’s normalize NOT being on our phones and social media all the dang time. There’s not a thing wrong with that.
If you’re still with me I really hope you’ll put some (or all) of these suggestions into action. Reading them and saying “oh that’s a good idea” and actually implementing them are two totally different things.
I know I’m not alone in wanting to disconnect from the over connectedness of social media and I feel like we’re going to start seeing a trend in taking breaks from it all in the name of self-care. Watch and see. Within the context of your own self implemented social media boundaries, of course.
Thanks for reading!
Leah